I think all creatives run into this at one point in time or another. Some of us (like me)may run into it almost on a quarterly basis – which means I’m due.
It is this weird fear that I have of ruining the perfect white canvas. Writers probably fear the blinking cursor or the white page, sculptors fear the beautiful large block of marble and potters … well they probably don’t fear anything because they can just crush something that isn’t working and start again with the clay.
Or it could just be me.
but I don’t think it is.
There is something beautiful and pristine and intrinsically valueable (at least to me) about a blank canvas. Good canvas is never cheap and the larger it is the more it cost. And at the heart of it… I love a beautiful canvas, coloured or not.
Blank canvas is where I imagine all my ideas in perfection. This canvas could be “the perfect painting”.
I could prove my skills on this canvas.
This canvas could come together perfectly.
This canvas could be the painting I create that is universally adored.
this canvas can remind me of my failure to solve its problems.
this canvas could be the start of an epic battle…
I could fight with this canvas for the next 6 months before stashing it in a drawer somewhere never to see the light of day again…. hopefully.
I could give you lots of excuses for why I have not been in my studio, some of them family obligations, or time schedule changes or other things that are pretty mundane.
But the end of it all is that too much time away from my studio leaves room for the old fears to creep in and start gunking up the gears.
I personally like the image of the “bohemian artist” minus the dreadlocks and doo-rags (I totally could not pull that off). Sleeping in til noon, doing whatever “creative/wierd” thing I felt like, daisy chains and Tuscan breezes. Backpacking around the world… no shred of structure or daily routine to hold the artist back…
But I’ve discovered I would be a very broke and very uncreative person without structures, routine, and discipline. Its the boundaries of the box that make creativity possible for me.
So this week is back to the studio for me. What about for you?